I had a line up for the first romance post, and was wondering which would be the perfect cover. I've found many to be sure. No one trumps romance for weeeeeeird book covers, not to mention cheesy and outlandish. But this one... oh my.
Lets start with the obvious. The Giant cat eyes behind the dude and the lady. Now, this implies that the story is paranormal romance on our hands, second best in the romantic field in its outlandish book covers. What it also implies is that one of the two turns into a cat. This is a shut in's dream. Her (or his, I'm all about equality) male cat suddenly turns into some grizzled hunk. More often then not its him. Please, please think about this. The man turns into a cat. What happens when, in a heat of passion he looses control and litterally goes into a more primal state. And since when are cats a sexy thing. Do you know what goes on in cat sex? I don't, because that would be gross, but I have the vague its brief and male cats love to sleep with just about every cat in the district.
So one, its going to be short and unsatisfying for our blond harlot on the front, and two he's going to have had sex with soooo many other females. And I don't just mean other people.
I mean if beastiality is your thing, then go for it. I personally do not like to bone animals.
As to blondie, well, just like most romances, she'll be resistant to him, but its more than evident that she's ready to hike up her skirt, show him, not only her cat, but to prove to her audience that she is, in fact a natural blonde. Something I very much doubt.
What actually gets me most about her is the dress. I can't get a firm grasp on the era from it. Historical romances can actually be quite telling of the era from the gown the woman is wearing. But I can't land it. It looks a bit more on the modern side to me, one of those glamorous gowns of the wealthy imitating the nobility of old.
I can't ignore the whiskers either. Very well placed. The eyes might have given the cover a Great Gatsby feel to it, though in this case it would be the Great CATsby. (Pause for a moment to take in the literary, turd of a pun I made) They centre it nicely, but are rather oddly placed around the butt of both of them.
But I digress. There is one more thing, the real reason I picked this as a Weird Book Cover.
You may have noticed the picture looks a touch fuzzy. Its not a shotty focus, you can be sure of that.
The cover is in 3D.
Yes! You heard it here folks! 3D Romance covers! A number of things make it strange. Firstly, why does a book need a 3D cover? Unless the 3D makes it look like their doing the nasty, I'm not sure I really see much of a point in it. He just kinda rubs against her face like a cat against a freshly cleaned pant leg. Furthermore, if he is a shapeshifter (as the above paragraph suggested) then why doesn't it have him going from man to feline? I leave that question for you to ponder over.
Secondly, WHY DOES A BOOK NEED A 3D COVER?
Really, we're reading here. If readers wanted visuals then they would be watching movies, tv, youtube or their smart phones. And really, when I see it, it makes me think that you're trying to hard. If you need to spice the content up that much, what will the inside read like? The only things 3D in this book is her boobs.
Now I could be over judging, it has been a while since I've had something sweet, so I could be running on some low blood sugar. But in all fairness, this is a pretty weird book cover, even for a romance novel.
Weird: 5
Awesome: 1
Unique: 3
Cheesy: 5
Fitting to the Book: -1
Conclusion: Cat Sex is weird. Whisker butts are weird. Her dress is weird. The giant looming cat is weird. But above all, the 3D is weird.
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